Why Do I Write?

 There are times when I ask myself that very question, (especially these days). Or to be more precise; why do I write fiction? 

The Answer, dear reader, is remarkably simple: I write, because I need to.  Throughout my life I have always been compelled to not only consume (and occasionally write about) other people's stories, but to create stories of my own; to make my own mark within the annals of fiction, no matter how small that mark may be. 

Of course, this ambition is without its drawbacks.  I am my own harshest critic and there are times, particularly when working on a new chapter, that my lack of ability as a writer makes me want to scream out loud.

This scene was great when I pictured it in my head, I think, grinding my teeth. Why does it not turn out the way I want it? Why is the dialogue so stiff and awkward? Fuck! Shit! Gaah!!

Its during these moments that I am compelled to just give up. After all, its not like my blog is swarmed with comments wondering when the next chapter of Tales of Vinoli is coming out, so why even bother?

Because contrary to what I stated above, there are times when I look at what I've written and am filled with a sense of accomplishment, even (gasp!) pride. I am no great author and I am well aware of my limitations, sometimes almost painfully so. That said, I do think my writing has grown  better over the years (at least, it has not become worse) and I do (if you'll forgive me honking my own horn) think that I've managed to create at least a few engaging characters.

Finally, while this may well be my vanity talking, I like to think that there are at least a few people out there on the Internet, who see some merit in my story and keep coming back to it, regardless of its shortcomings. 

True, I have no proof they exist, but people believe in lots of things of whose existence they have no real proof, so why shouldn't I do the same?

If you are one of my regular readers (I almost wrote 'loyal' but that seems to arrogant, even for me), then you have my most sincere gratitude and I hope that my writing will continue to be a source of entertainment for you in the future. 

And if you are not of one of them, if you only read a few chapters and decided that it was not for you. Then you still have my thanks, you gave it a fair shot and that too deserves recognition.