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Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Thoughts on An American Tragedy

Four-hundred pages into Theodore Dreiser's novel, An American Tragedy, I realized with a sort of dread that I wasn't even half-way through the damn thing yet.

Look, I'm an avid reader and I certainly have nothing against a so-called "door-stopper" every now and then. However, the difference between An American Tragedy and, say, Anna Karenina is that Tolstoy's novel never felt long. I think a big reason why An American Tragedy does is the fact that Dreiser's prose frankly, isn't very good. In fact, I'd even daresay that my own prose is better (and that's not something you'll hear me say often in regards to professionally published authors) and its become more and more noticeable the further into the book I've progressed

"Wait", you protest. "There must be something worthwhile about this book? Otherwise, why would you have read so many pages of it already?"
You're absolutely correct, dear reader. I can, in fact, point to two positive things about this book: First of all, the main character, Clyde Griffiths, with his flaws and weaknesses, is portrayed well. Secondly, the central premise of the novel isn't bad, someone like Flannery O'Connor would have made a great novella out of it.
That said, its not really a story that needed over 800 pages to be told and quite frankly, there are other books more worthy of my time (and yours).



Monday, March 13, 2017

A Brief Rant Concerning The Gem Show

Its never pleasant having to write something negative about a thing that you enjoy, but nevertheless, there are times when it must be done.
Steven Universe, created by Rebecca Sugar, is a show that I have a deep fondness for, and is there any wonder why? In addition to being creative and imaginative, the show also boasts engaging characters, fascinating lore and some really excellent songs. However, recently, I must confess that I've started to be a tad frustrated by the show. More precisely, what frustrates me is the rather staggering amount of so-called filler; that is, episodes that are mostly inconsequential and do not further the plot in any way.

The latest episode, Room For Ruby is a good (or not) example of what I mean. Yes, I enjoyed the character of Navy and how devious she turned out to be, but in the end, I can't help but wonder what this episode accomplished in the grand scheme of things. Is the fact that the characters no longer have access to a spaceship going to be important down the line? One should hope so, otherwise, I can't help but wonder what the purpose behind the episode was.

Do not get the wrong idea, I have nothing against the more small-scale, character-focused episodes per se, but at this point, we already know the characters well enough. I want to find out more about Homeworld, about the diamonds, about the circumstances that led up to Rose Quartz's rebellion. How Pearl joined up with Rose and so forth. The show is at its fourth season; its high time that it gained some momentum and started to give us answers to some of these questions, instead of meandering about. Otherwise, I fear that the show may end up like Adventure Time and that is not something I wish to happen.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Chapter 19

From the journal of Nasari:


I write these words with a feeling of guilt inside me. Yesterday, I did something that I never thought I would do, not even in my wildest dreams. I guess this shows how little a person truly knows about herself. What did I do? Simple, I was unfaithful to my husband, the father of my children. I have not made up my mind as to whether or not I should tell Jeraddin about this; I fear that it would break his heart and he, in no way, deserve that. Still, I feel that I need to confess my wrongdoing somehow and this journal will be as good a confessor as any. 
By the time I'm writing this, I have been part of the Queen's personal retinue for some time. Beside myself, there are nine other women whom have the same position. All of them are young and, I must admit, very pretty. 

I am unique in our group for two reasons. First of all, I am by quite a margin the oldest one here, with none of the others having reached the age of thirty and the youngest one not having celebrated her twentieth birthday. The second reason is that I am the only married woman here. I do not know what the Queen has given as a reason for why the wife of her General should live separate from her husband, if she even thinks that's something anyone should know. 

At the very least, no-one except for the Queen and myself is aware of the truth; that I am a hostage, kept close in order to make sure that my husband obeys the Queen's command and does not get tempted to divulge the truth about the old King's death. Jeraddin knows that Lorenzo, the queen's fox have spies and informants everywhere and if he were to tell anyone, words would reach the palace and my life would be forfeit.

I will give credit where credit is  due; if the Queen has any particular favorite among us, she doesn't show this openly. That's not to say that the atmosphere here is particularly pleasant. As a mistress, the Queen is unpredictable and capricious: When she's in a good mood, or satisfied, its not uncommon that she rewards the person who has won her favor with small gifts, such as a fine ring or candy. However, if the Queen is in a dark mood or someone does something to displease her, she is quick to mete out punishment. Said punishments vary depending on the Queen's whims, ranging from beatings to being forced to go without food for a day. Was she like this when she was still just a Princess? I can not say.

I wish I could tell you that I felt some sort of kinship with my so-called colleagues, but the truth is, I don't. On the contrary, I don't care for them and I'm certain that the feeling is mutual. To every rule there is an exception, though and in this case, I met said exception upon my first day in the palace. I had noticed that a painting of Carazzio, one of my favorite painters were hanging on the wall and so, I stopped for a moment to study it.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you were admiring this painting. I think its beautiful, don't you?"

I had been so absorbed in Carazzio's masterpiece that it took a few seconds before I registered that someone was talking to me. Turning around, I noticed a young female raccoon standing before me. From her clothing; a white blouse with an unbuttoned collar and a black skirt that ended just above her knees, I gathered that she was one of the Queen's handmaidens.

"Yes", I agreed. "Its truly a magnificent work of art."

"My name is Miranda", the raccoon presented herself. 

"Pleased to meet you", I replied. "I am Nasari."

Miranda smiled.


"I know, you are General Jeraddin's wife, right? Is your husband here too?" She asked, looking around, as if expecting Jeraddin to appear around a corner.

I shook my head.

"No, I am hear my own. Due to certain circumstances, this is to be my home from now on."

"Oh? May I ask what you'll be doing here, my lady?"

"Certainly and there's no need for you to call me 'lady'. After all, we are about to become colleagues.

From the expression on my new acquaintance's face, I could tell that she had not been prepared for this. 

"Really?" She asked, tilting her head to one side. "Don't get me wrong, you certainly have the looks of a handmaiden, but usually its not a position open to married women."

"I know that, but I am a special exception and I can assure you that I won't be required to do anything that breaks my vows."

"You're still going need a uniform though. Come with me and we'll see if we can find one in your size."



*****

That's how I met Miranda. We immediately took a liking to each other and soon became the closest of friends.  I am now going to skip ahead in time to the day before today. Earlier, I wrote that the Queen's in the habit of doling out gifts or punishments depending on her whim. I have never received a gift from her and if I did, I'd get rid of it when I could be sure that no-one was watching, but I had also been fortunate, or careful, enough to not incur her wrath in any way. Until yesterday, that is.

The Queen had an hour of spare time and so, she ordered a servant girl, who possesses some musical talent to play something for her. While we all gathered to listen to the music, the Queen  ordered her jewel-adorned slippers  to be removed, to let her feet be aired.

"Our toenails are in need of trimming" she observed and then, turned to me. "Nasari, fetch the nail clippers. You shall be granted the honor of performing this duty."

With dismay written all over my face, I rose and fetched the appropriate tool; a pair of nail clippers that were made to cut dragon claws and thus, were sharper then usual.  With these in my paws, I knelt in front of the Queen and went about my job with the utmost reluctance. Meanwhile, the Queen signaled for the music to continue. The Melodies that the servant-girl weaved on the lute, soon made me quite forget the disagreeable task in which I was currently engaged, when suddenly, I heard  the Queen's voice cry out in pain.

The Music stopped. All eyes turned towards me. Looking at the Queen's foot, I could see blood pouring out from a wound and realized that I had cut into the toe itself.

"You clumsy trollop!" The Queen growled at me. "Can you not pay attention to..." She stopped and her eyes became like two slits. "You did it on purpose" she said, through clenched teeth.

"Your Majesty" I said, "I swear that I was merely distracted by the music"

"Be Quiet!" The Queen cut me of. "Do not contradict Us."

She stood up, towering over me, her face was terrible to behold. 

"Normally" she began. "Willful cause of bodily harm to Our Royal person would lead to the loss of your head. However, since you are the spouse of our General Jeraddin, We shall show mercy. Guards!"

Immediately, two guards, who had been waiting outside rushed in. The Queen pointed at me.

"Seize her!"

The Guards did as they were told and I felt a pair of strong, heavy paws grab me by the shoulders. Meanwhile, the Queen turned to two of the chamber-maids; a lizard and a moongoose, neither of which is a friend of mine.

"You" she said, pointing at the moongoose. "Remove her garments, but be sure not to tear them, if you do, its coming out of your pay. As for you...go fetch me the castigator.

I could feel my heart sink. The Castigator is a tool I have seen the Queen use before to punish her chamber-maids. It is a long, wooden paddle of the type used by parents to discipline unruly children. The Difference between the castigator and its more common brethren is that merely one side of it is flat; the other is covered by small pieces of metal, all of them sharp enough to draw blood. So far, I had only viewed this awful tool from a distance, but now it seemed that I was about to become intimately familiar with it. 
No! I chastised myself. Do not shed tears, before the punishment has begun. They will think you are afraid, do not give them the satisfaction.

The Lizard returned with the castigator and presented it to Argath. The Queen took it and approached my exposed backside. I shut my eyes, waiting for the punishment to begin.

"On second thought" she said, "Our shoulder is bothering Us somewhat. Miranda, you shall carry out the punishment in our stead."

Turning my head slightly, I could see the look of horror on my friend's face.

"Your Majesty" she pleaded, throwing herself in front of the Queen, wrapping her arms around her legs. "Do not make me do this, I beg of you."

"Do as We command" the Queen said, unrelentingly. "Or you shall take her place, though your punishment will be twice as severe."
Hanging her head, Miranda stood up and took the castigator. 

"Forty strokes on each cheek" the Queen commanded. "Oh, and Miranda? Use the teethed side."

It is not that I am unfamiliar with the concept of corporal punishment. As a young girl, when I misbehaved, my parents would put me over their knees and warm my bottom and when I became a mother myself, I did on one occasion spank my eldest, when she had behaved in a way that I found completely unacceptable. I shall also mention that, in the nuptial bed, my husband and I have sometimes taken turns spanking each other, as foreplay. Something which I must confess,  has brought us no small amount of pleasure.

However, while I usually accepted the punishment inflicted on me by my parents, it was because I knew deep down that they would never spank me, unless I gave them good reason too.This though, was different. To be punished like this, for an accident and by the command of a person whom I knew to be the most heinous of  villains; a patricide and a regicide both, the injustice of it all stung almost worse than the physical pain. 

Not that the physical pain was anything to sneeze at. As the castigator bit into my rear end, I screamed louder than I have ever done before.


After what felt like an eternity, the beatings stopped. The lizard and the mongoose let go of my arms and I dropped to the floor. The Queen loomed over me, I could hear her voice, but it sounded as if it came from far away.

"Good. Let us leave this room, I need the doctor to administer to my injuries."

As soon as I was alone, I made an effort to stand up. My legs carried me as far as to a nearby couch, there I collapsed. 
As I laid there, my face buried in one of the cushions and my rear-end feeling as if it was on fire, I felt a relief knowing that I was the Queen's hostage and not my daughter, as that tyrant had originally wanted. 

I could hear the door opening, followed by the sound of soft footsteps. I looked up and saw that Miranda had returned, she was carrying a small jar. Without a word, she took of the lid and dipped one of her paws into the jar.  When she took it out it was covered in a white salve. She proceeded to apply the cool ointment to my bruises. It stung at first, but as Miranda kept massaging my abused buttocks, a feeling of intense pleasure began to spread throughout my person, causing me to purr loudly.

"Do you feel better now?" Miranda asked once she had finished.

"Much better", I said. "Thank you."

Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked at Miranda and saw that her tears were red from crying.

"Nasari, I'm so sorry", she said. "I didn't want to.."

"I know", I said, hugging her. "Don't worry about it."

Then, to my surprise, she kissed me.

I know what I should have done then and there. I should have pushed Miranda away and with a shocked expression on my face left the room. I did no such thing. Instead, I returned her kiss, pressing my own lips against hers.

Why did I take this cause of action? 
Perhaps it was that at the moment I felt a desperate need for affection? Jeraddin wasn't there; at the time I'm writing this I haven't seen him since the coronation and Miranda was. Maybe the recent events have created a gap between me and my husband that can never be truly repaired? Or perhaps, there exist in all of us, male or female, the desire, no matter how deep its buried, a desire to be intimate with someone of our own gender, at least once? 
After all, Miranda is my only friend here and as I mentioned, all the Queen's maids are very pretty. 

At the time, none of that mattered to me, nor did I feel any guilt or shame (that came later). All I could think of was how good Miranda tasted and the new world that was opened up to me in that moment. 
I did not even protest when Miranda slid a paw under my blouse and touched my breast, her fingers teasing my nipple to turn into a rock.

At night, I had a dream. I was with Jeraddin, we were floating together in a void, both of us naked, our bodies pressed together. In the dream, I reached down to lovingly caress Jeraddin's erection, when to my shock I noticed that the hard phallus I had expected to get into my hand, had turned into something soft. Opening my eyes in the dream, I saw to my surprise that my husband had been replaced by none other than Miranda.

I woke up and was unable to go back to sleep after that.





Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Chapter 18

"My friends", said Dr. Hieronymus, while standing up. "Its with great pleasure that I bid you - all of you - welcome to my home. I want you to know that my doors will be open to you for as long as you wish, I do not lack space and its always nice to have some company." He paused and looked affectionately at Amelia, who was seated next to Leorin. "I'm sure that you agree, Ame; it must be nice to have some people closer to your own age in the house, instead of having to make do with your dusty old uncle. Anyway, I won't bore you with any long speech. "Cheers!"

With an elegant gesture, the platypus raised the glass to his beak and allowed its content of white wine to run down his throat.

The others followed his example, though the doctor, Merees and Risha were the only ones who drank wine. The glasses of Amelia, Leorin and Luke were filled with juice made from the fruits of the island. The meal, which stood on the table consisted of a pasta with a salmon sauce, which could make one's mouth water merely by catching a whiff of its smell, accompanied by bread and a green salad with small tomatoes.

Everyone ate heartily and the sound of food being chewed and glasses being drained and filled up, were mixed with the sound of the doctor's voice, as he entertained his guests with stories from the travels he had made when he was younger and before he had returned to this island, the place of his birth and using his hard-earned fortune, had bought the house in whose dining room they were now gathered.

"My mother used to wash the linen for the family who owned this house before me", Hieronymus said. "It had always been my dream to one day return and buy the house from them and, as you can see, I made that dream a reality."

"What happened to the family?" Risha asked.

"Oh they moved away somewhere. They had fallen on hard times and had no choice but to accept my offer for the house and garden. It was quite a generous amount too."

At that moment, the conversation was interrupted by someone knocking loudly and insistently on the front door. The knocks were accompanied by a female voice calling for the doctor.

"Who could that be?" Hieronymus wondered. He stood up and wiped away some sauce from the corner of his beak.

"I'll get it!" Amelia called out excitedly. She jumped out of her chair and was gone in the blink of an eye. Her uncle followed her, but he had not even made it out of the dining room before Amelia returned, this time in the company of a red-haired vixen, wearing an apron.

"You must come quickly, doctor" the vixen pleaded, clasping her paws. "A fight broke out between two of our customers, one of them had a knife and..."
Before she could finish the sentence, Hieronymus interrupted her:

"Amelia, fetch my medicine-bag. Its in my office. Hurry!"

With the seemingly boundless energy of youth, Amelia ran away to fetch the requested object. Clutching his medicine-bag, Hieronymus followed the vixen out into the evening. Amelia looked after them and then turned and headed back to the dining room.

When she returned, the others asked her what had happened.

"Oh, it seems like someone got hurt in a fight at the local bar", she said nonchalantly, while stabbing a piece of salmon on her fork.

"Was it serious?" Merees wondered.

"Nothing that my uncle can't fix. By the way, you don't have to stop eating because he's not here. You can never know when he gets called away or how long he'll be gone."

"That's good to know", Luke said, "because I'm still hungry." He backed up the statement by shoveling a large amount of food into his mouth.

After awhile the food was gone, save for the doctor's portion, which Amelia put an empty plate over, to keep it warm. They all leaned back with full, round bellies and eyes that could barely stay open.

"By the way", Leorin asked, while stifling a yawn. "Whose turn is it to do the dishes?"

"No idea", his sister replied. "I just hope its not me."

"It should be you", Merees said jokingly. "Seeing as how you've been loafing around in bed for so long."

"I know", said Amelia. "Why don't we vote? Anyone who thinks Risha should do the dishes, raise a paw. Or claw", she added, with a look at the princess.

The motion was carried nigh unanimously, with only one vote against. Risha turned to her brother and shook her head, while making a tutting sound.

"Even my own brother is against me", she said. "Oh, that hurts."

"Sorry, sis", Leorin apologized with a shrug. "I just really don't want to do the dishes today."

The lynx paid him no heed, she stood up and supporting herself on the table, she rose her left paw to her brow in a theatrical fashion.

"Betrayed by my own flesh and blood", she wailed. "Woe is me. How sharper than a serpent's tooth, etc, etc..."

Leorin rolled his eyes.

"Drama queen."

"Fine", Risha said with a resigned gesture. "I'll do the dishes, but one of you are going to help me dry them."

******

"Amelia, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure", Amelia replied, taking the warm, dripping wet plate that Risha handed to her and drying it of with a towel.

"Its a pretty personal one", Risha continued, as she once again plunged her arms into the dish-water. "So, if you don't want to answer it, I understand."

"That's fine, ask away."

"The Doctor....is he your real uncle?"

Amelia shook her head.

"Nope, but he was a very close friend to my parents and I've known him since I was born, so I think of him as an uncle."

"I see."

Risha decided not to breach the subject further, but she couldn't help but notice that Amelia had referred to her parents in the past tense.

In a way, I suppose this place is like some sort of orphanage, she thought to herself, as she kept scrubbing on a fork. Well, Leorin and I aren't technically orphans, but we might as well be. Merees has lost her father and as for Luke? Well, I don't know anything about him. I should probably ask him, when I get the chance.

When the dishes were done, Amelia jumped down from the chair she had been standing on.

"I'm going to find the guys and see if they want to play hide-and-seek", she said. "Do you want to come?"

"No, I think I want to take it easy."

"OK, see you later" and with those parting words, the otter girl rushed out of the room.
As for Risha, she decided that she was in the mood for something to read. Earlier that day, while showing her around the house, the doctor had made halt outside of a door which had the word LIBRARY written on it, in golden letters.

"I heard that you like to read. Feel free to make use of my modest collection of books, whenever you want", he had said.

At the time, she had thanked him and the tour had continued. Now, it was time to take the Doctor up on his offer. Remembering where the library was, she went there, opened the door and stepped inside.

The first thing she noticed upon entering the library was a painting, a portrait made in oil, hanging on the wall. The portrait depicted two otters, one male and one female. The female was seated in a chair, holding a book, while the male stood behind her, his left paw resting on her shoulder.

These two must be Amelia's parents. I wonder who the artist is? Could it be?

Risha leaned closer to the painting. There, hidden in the right corner, almost impossible to notice, was the Doctor's name.

I thought so. 

Having finished studying the portrait, Risha began to look around the bookcases, which  lined the rest of the library walls. In his lifetime, Dr. Hieronymus had managed to build up quite a collection of books of all sorts; there were books of fiction and non-fiction, books intended for children and books that were meant for adult eyes only (these were on the top-shelf). There were novels, collections of short-stories, poems, essays, books that were part of a series and books that were stand-alone. Risha's eyes swept over the shelves, until they came to rest on a title which had caught her attention:

"The Ghost of Grenge Hall: A Timothy Sparrow Adventure", she read out-loud. Sounds interesting.
She took the volume from its shelf and looked at the cover, it showed the titular hero looking up at a cloaked figure, posing sinisterly on the top of a hill. All of this was rendered in striking red - and - black.

Intrigued, Risha opened the book and stared at the page in surprise; this was unlike any other book she had ever seen before: It was somewhat similar to a picture-book, but instead of the pictures serving as illustrations to the story, here the pictures were the story and you had to look at them in sequence, in order to grasp the plot. Above the head of the characters hovered white bubbles, which contained their dialogue.

Excited over having discovered something she had never seen before, Risha took the book under her arm and went out to the veranda. There, she parked herself on the couch and under the warm glow of a lantern, began to read. Soon, she was completely absorbed in the story and thus, its no wonder that she failed to notice that someone else had appeared on the veranda. It was only when that someone sat down next to her and addressed her that she became aware of their presence:

"Sorry", Risha said, looking away from the book. "I wasn't paying attention, what did you say?"
"I was only asking if the book was any good", Merees replied.

"Yeah, its pretty good."

"Mind if I sit down?"

"Be my guest".

Risha scooted over and Merees sat down. As she looked at the dragoness next to her, the lynx realized that now was the perfect opportunity to confess her feelings.

"Princess" she begun, closing the book.

"What is it?"

Risha took a deep breath and looked Merees in the eyes.

"I really like you" she blurted out.

"I like you too" Merees replied, squeezing Risha's paw.

Risha shook her head.

"No, I meant that I Like you" she said, putting special emphasis on the word like. "I want us to be more than just friends."

"That's what I meant too."

"Of course, if you aren't into girls that way, I completely understand" Risha continued, hurriedly. Then, she paused, realizing what Merees had just said.

"You mean you..." Risha began, but for some reason her tongue seemed to have been tied into a knot. Merees nodded in affirmation.

"Since when?" The lynx finally managed to ask.

"Since we first met" the dragon answered.

"Than, why didn't you tell me?"

Merees let out a sigh.

"Fear of rejection, I'm afraid. I suspected that you and I were the same, but I couldn't be sure, so I decided to let you take the initiative. I'm sorry, it was craven of me, I know."

"Its fine, one of us had to be the first one. I'm just so happy that you feel the same way for me."

The two of them leaned closer towards each other, their lips were just about to touch, when suddenly a small shape appeared on the veranda and with lightning speed, ducked under the couch. Vexed, Risha stood up and crouched down in order to see who - or -what, had caused this interruption.

"Psst" Leorin said. "Don't let Luke know that I'm here."

"Its my brother" Risha explained, as she sat down again. "Stupid kid" she muttered, crossing her arms. "Why did he have to pick this as his hiding spot, of all places?"

"His timing could be better" Merees agreed. "Though in all fairness, there was no way he could have known."

"Yeah, you're right" Risha conceded. "Still, he's kind of killed the mood. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, we can just sit like this for awhile."

And so they did, with Merees wrapping her arm around Risha and the lynx resting her head on the dragon's shoulder. If anyone had seen them at this moment, he or she would have found them the very picture of serenity. After awhile, Merees spoke up:

"By the way, there's this place on the island I've been dying to show you. If you want, we could go there tomorrow."

There was no answer. Surprised, Merees looked at Risha and realized that she was sleeping. The calmness of their surroundings and the sound of the lynx's breathing had a hypnotic effect on the Princess. She felt her eyelids grow heavier and heavier, until she could no longer keep them open.