Chapter 19

From the journal of Nasari:

I write these words with a feeling of guilt inside me. Yesterday, I did something that I never thought I would do, not even in my wildest dreams. I guess this shows how little a person truly knows about herself. What did I do? Simple, I was unfaithful to my husband, the father of my children. I have not made up my mind as to whether or not I should tell Jeraddin about this; I fear that it would break his heart and he, in no way, deserve that. Still, I feel that I need to confess my wrongdoing somehow and this journal will be as good a confessor as any. 
By the time I'm writing this, I have been part of the Queen's personal retinue for some time. Beside myself, there are nine other women whom have the same position. All of them are young and, I must admit, very pretty. 

I am unique in our group for two reasons. First of all, I am by quite a margin the oldest one here, with none of the others having reached the age of thirty and the youngest one not having celebrated her twentieth birthday. The second reason is that I am the only married woman here. I do not know what the Queen has given as a reason for why the wife of her General should live separate from her husband, if she even thinks that's something anyone should know. 

At the very least, no-one except for the Queen and myself is aware of the truth; that I am a hostage, kept close in order to make sure that my husband obeys the Queen's command and does not get tempted to divulge the truth about the old King's death. Jeraddin knows that Lorenzo, the queen's fox have spies and informants everywhere and if he were to tell anyone, words would reach the palace and my life would be forfeit.

I will give credit where credit is  due; if the Queen has any particular favorite among us, she doesn't show this openly. That's not to say that the atmosphere here is particularly pleasant. As a mistress, the Queen is unpredictable and capricious: When she's in a good mood, or satisfied, its not uncommon that she rewards the person who has won her favor with small gifts, such as a fine ring or candy. However, if the Queen is in a dark mood or someone does something to displease her, she is quick to mete out punishment. Said punishments vary depending on the Queen's whims, ranging from beatings to being forced to go without food for a day. Was she like this when she was still just a Princess? I can not say.

I wish I could tell you that I felt some sort of kinship with my so-called colleagues, but the truth is, I don't. On the contrary, I don't care for them and I'm certain that the feeling is mutual. To every rule there is an exception, though and in this case, I met said exception upon my first day in the palace. I had noticed that a painting of Carazzio, one of my favorite painters were hanging on the wall and so, I stopped for a moment to study it.

"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you were admiring this painting. I think its beautiful, don't you?"

I had been so absorbed in Carazzio's masterpiece that it took a few seconds before I registered that someone was talking to me. Turning around, I noticed a young female raccoon standing before me. From her clothing; a white blouse with an unbuttoned collar and a black skirt that ended just above her knees, I gathered that she was one of the Queen's handmaidens.

"Yes", I agreed. "Its truly a magnificent work of art."

"My name is Miranda", the raccoon presented herself. 

"Pleased to meet you", I replied. "I am Nasari."

Miranda smiled.

"I know, you are General Jeraddin's wife, right? Is your husband here too?" She asked, looking around, as if expecting Jeraddin to appear around a corner.

I shook my head.

"No, I am hear my own. Due to certain circumstances, this is to be my home from now on."

"Oh? May I ask what you'll be doing here, my lady?"

"Certainly and there's no need for you to call me 'lady'. After all, we are about to become colleagues.

From the expression on my new acquaintance's face, I could tell that she had not been prepared for this. 

"Really?" She asked, tilting her head to one side. "Don't get me wrong, you certainly have the looks of a handmaiden, but usually its not a position open to married women."

"I know that, but I am a special exception and I can assure you that I won't be required to do anything that breaks my vows."

"You're still going need a uniform though. Come with me and we'll see if we can find one in your size."

*****

That's how I met Miranda. We immediately took a liking to each other and soon became the closest of friends.  I am now going to skip ahead in time to the day before today. Earlier, I wrote that the Queen's in the habit of doling out gifts or punishments depending on her whim. I have never received a gift from her and if I did, I'd get rid of it when I could be sure that no-one was watching, but I had also been fortunate, or careful, enough to not incur her wrath in any way. Until yesterday, that is.

The Queen had an hour of spare time and so, she ordered a servant girl, who possesses some musical talent to play something for her. While we all gathered to listen to the music, the Queen  ordered her jewel-adorned slippers  to be removed, to let her feet be aired.

"Our toenails are in need of trimming" she observed and then, turned to me. "Nasari, fetch the nail clippers. You shall be granted the honor of performing this duty."

With dismay written all over my face, I rose and fetched the appropriate tool; a pair of nail clippers that were made to cut dragon claws and thus, were sharper then usual.  With these in my paws, I knelt in front of the Queen and went about my job with the utmost reluctance. Meanwhile, the Queen signaled for the music to continue. The Melodies that the servant-girl weaved on the lute, soon made me quite forget the disagreeable task in which I was currently engaged, when suddenly, I heard  the Queen's voice cry out in pain.

The Music stopped. All eyes turned towards me. Looking at the Queen's foot, I could see blood pouring out from a wound and realized that I had cut into the toe itself.

"You clumsy trollop!" The Queen growled at me. "Can you not pay attention to..." She stopped and her eyes became like two slits. "You did it on purpose" she said, through clenched teeth.

"Your Majesty" I said, "I swear that I was merely distracted by the music"

"Be Quiet!" The Queen cut me of. "Do not contradict Us."

She stood up, towering over me, her face was terrible to behold. 

"Normally" she began. "Willful cause of bodily harm to Our Royal person would lead to the loss of your head. However, since you are the spouse of our General Jeraddin, We shall show mercy. Guards!"

Immediately, two guards, who had been waiting outside rushed in. The Queen pointed at me.

"Seize her!"

The Guards did as they were told and I felt a pair of strong, heavy paws grab me by the shoulders. Meanwhile, the Queen turned to two of the chamber-maids; a lizard and a moongoose, neither of which is a friend of mine.

"You" she said, pointing at the moongoose. "Remove her garments, but be sure not to tear them, if you do, its coming out of your pay. As for you...go fetch me the castigator.

I could feel my heart sink. The Castigator is a tool I have seen the Queen use before to punish her chamber-maids. It is a long, wooden paddle of the type used by parents to discipline unruly children. The Difference between the castigator and its more common brethren is that merely one side of it is flat; the other is covered by small pieces of metal, all of them sharp enough to draw blood. So far, I had only viewed this awful tool from a distance, but now it seemed that I was about to become intimately familiar with it. 

No! I chastised myself. Do not shed tears, before the punishment has begun. They will think you are afraid, do not give them the satisfaction.

The Lizard returned with the castigator and presented it to Argath. The Queen took it and approached my exposed backside. I shut my eyes, waiting for the punishment to begin.

"On second thought" she said, "Our shoulder is bothering Us somewhat. Miranda, you shall carry out the punishment in our stead."

Turning my head slightly, I could see the look of horror on my friend's face.

"Your Majesty" she pleaded, throwing herself in front of the Queen, wrapping her arms around her legs. "Do not make me do this, I beg of you."

"Do as We command" the Queen said, unrelentingly. "Or you shall take her place, though your punishment will be twice as severe."

Hanging her head, Miranda stood up and took the castigator. 

"Forty strokes on each cheek" the Queen commanded. "Oh, and Miranda? Use the teethed side."

It is not that I am unfamiliar with the concept of corporal punishment. As a young girl, when I misbehaved, my parents would put me over their knees and warm my bottom and when I became a mother myself, I did on one occasion spank my eldest, when she had behaved in a way that I found completely unacceptable. I shall also mention that, in the nuptial bed, my husband and I have sometimes taken turns spanking each other, as foreplay. Something which I must confess,  has brought us no small amount of pleasure.

However, while I usually accepted the punishment inflicted on me by my parents, it was because I knew deep down that they would never spank me, unless I gave them good reason too.This though, was different. To be punished like this, for an accident and by the command of a person whom I knew to be the most heinous of  villains; a patricide and a regicide both, the injustice of it all stung almost worse than the physical pain. 

Not that the physical pain was anything to sneeze at. As the castigator bit into my rear end, I screamed louder than I have ever done before.

After what felt like an eternity, the beatings stopped. The lizard and the mongoose let go of my arms and I dropped to the floor. The Queen loomed over me, I could hear her voice, but it sounded as if it came from far away.

"Good. Let us leave this room, I need the doctor to administer to my injuries."

As soon as I was alone, I made an effort to stand up. My legs carried me as far as to a nearby couch, there I collapsed. 
As I laid there, my face buried in one of the cushions and my rear-end feeling as if it was on fire, I felt a relief knowing that I was the Queen's hostage and not my daughter, as that tyrant had originally wanted. 

I could hear the door opening, followed by the sound of soft footsteps. I looked up and saw that Miranda had returned, she was carrying a small jar. Without a word, she took of the lid and dipped one of her paws into the jar.  When she took it out it was covered in a white salve. She proceeded to apply the cool ointment to my bruises. It stung at first, but as Miranda kept massaging my abused buttocks, a feeling of intense pleasure began to spread throughout my person, causing me to purr loudly.

"Do you feel better now?" Miranda asked once she had finished.

"Much better", I said. "Thank you."

Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked at Miranda and saw that her tears were red from crying.

"Nasari, I'm so sorry", she said. "I didn't want to.."

"I know", I said, hugging her. "Don't worry about it."

Then, to my surprise, she kissed me.

I know what I should have done then and there. I should have pushed Miranda away and with a shocked expression on my face left the room. I did no such thing. Instead, I returned her kiss, pressing my own lips against hers.

Why did I take this cause of action? 

Perhaps it was that at the moment I felt a desperate need for affection? Jeraddin wasn't there; at the time I'm writing this I haven't seen him since the coronation and Miranda was. Maybe the recent events have created a gap between me and my husband that can never be truly repaired? Or perhaps, there exist in all of us, male or female, the desire, no matter how deep its buried, a desire to be intimate with someone of our own gender, at least once? 
After all, Miranda is my only friend here and as I mentioned, all the Queen's maids are very pretty. 

At the time, none of that mattered to me, nor did I feel any guilt or shame (that came later). All I could think of was how good Miranda tasted and the new world that was opened up to me in that moment. 

I did not even protest when Miranda slid a paw under my blouse and touched my breast, her fingers teasing my nipple to turn into a rock.

At night, I had a dream. I was with Jeraddin, we were floating together in a void, both of us naked, our bodies pressed together. In the dream, I reached down to lovingly caress Jeraddin's erection, when to my shock I noticed that the hard phallus I had expected to get into my hand, had turned into something soft. Opening my eyes in the dream, I saw to my surprise that my husband had been replaced by none other than Miranda.

I woke up and was unable to go back to sleep after that.