Chapter 25

From The Private Journal of Her Majesty, Argath I:

Though they do not say it in my presence, I am aware that the people at court and those who make up the Royal Council, believe that I have changed since the crown was put on my head. Of course, they are mistaken; the person they knew during all these years was but a role I played, a mask that I wore, in order to help me achieve my initial goal. Now that I rule this land, I no longer have need for that kind of pretense and I can be my true self; the me that have been known only to a select few, such as my pets or Lorenzo, my loyal protege, whom I've come to regard almost as a son. Besides, if the inhabitants of the palace find me stern, so much the better. As I told the council, I expect my orders to be carried out without protest, no matter the prize.

Although my hands are red and will grow redder still in the near future, those who think me entirely devoid of compassion are mistaken. I am perfectly capable, sometimes even willing, to show kindness toward those of my subjects that I deem deserving of it. Granted, I rarely find it necessary to demonstrate the softer aspects of my character, though recently, an opportunity to do so presented itself. 

It was on this very day, in fact: Shortly after I had left my throne-room after conveying my orders to general Jeraddin, I was reached by the news that my councilman, Felix had been found unconscious in one of the hallways. 

I asked the servant who brought me the news where Felix was right now and was told that he had been taken to one of the palace wings, in which his domicile is located. 
Immediately, I jotted down a few words on a pen and paper and handed it to the servant.

"Take this to the doctor", I said.

The servant bowed and left the room. Moments later, the cake I had ordered from the kitchen arrived.

As I began digging into the slice that one of my pets (her name is of no importance at the moment) had cut out of the cake and placed on the plate before me, I couldn't help but feel concerned for my Councilman's health.  I decided to make a courtesy-call, as soon as opportunity presented itself.


My schedule, as usual, was quite full and it was not until a few hours later that I was able to make good on the promise I had made to myself. I headed to the Eastern wing. I did not bother to knock on the door (After all, do not all rooms in this palace belong to me?), but headed straight into the spacious apartment that Felix shared with his wife.

I figured that I would find the two of them in the bedroom; Felix lying in bed, having been administered to by the doctor with his wife, Lucinda, watching over him. It had been a long time since I had last visited them, but thankfully, my memory has always been good and I had no trouble locating the bedroom.

I did not enter the room immediately, but remained in the doorway, watching the scene in front of me. It was exactly as I had pictured it: Felix lay in bed, eyes closed, his breathing so faint that at first, I had trouble hearing it. Lucinda sat by his bedside, clutching one of his hands.

Soon, Lucinda rose from her chair, having detected the presence of another conscious person in the vicinity. She turned around and her eyes met mine.

"Your Majesty", she said, visibly taken aback. "What an unexpected honor".

She curtsied deeply, grabbing the hem of her dress. 

"We can not stand here" I said, gesturing for her to rise. "Let us resume this conversation in your living room."

As I sat down in a plush red sofa, Lucinda, always the gracious host, asked me if I wanted any refreshments.

"Coffee", I said and immediately after, my stomach growled. "Oh, and something light to nibble at, if you have it."

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

"We can dispose with the formalities" I said, magnanimously. "After all, have I not been a friend of your family for many years?"

"It has been so long since you last visited, we feared that we might have done something to make us lose favor with you.

I smiled.

"Believe me, Lucinda, if you had done something to make me angry, I would have been sure to let you know it. No, I have simply been busy."

Having been thus reassured that she was still in my good graces, Lucinda went out into the kitchen. Despite their wealth, she and her husband do not employ any servants and so, she would have to prepare the coffee on her own.

Shortly thereafter, she returned, carrying a tray, which she sat down on the coffee table. Having taken a sip of the coffee and helped myself to several of the small, triangular sandwiches that Lucinda had prepared, I decided it was time to cut to the chase:

"I heard that your husband is not feeling well", I said. "Its nothing serious, I hope?"

"The Doctor did not tell you?" Lucinda asked, with some surprise. "I thought he would have."

I confessed that I had not had the opportunity to talk to the Doctor yet.

"Apparently, its a relapse of the fever he had recently, brought about by a severe shock. The doctor has given him some medicine, but he is to remain in bed for a few days. I'm afraid he'll have to be absent from some of the Council meetings."

"Perfectly understandable", I assured her, reaching for another sandwich. 

My eyes drifted across the room and eventually came to rest upon a portrait of two boys, arms on each other's shoulders, which hung on the wall.

"How are the twins doing at school?" I asked, recalling that Felix and Lucinda's offspring were attending their first year at the same prestigious boarding-school that their father had once attended. 

"Oh, they are doing just fine", Lucinda said, smiling the smile of a proud mother. "Its kind of you to ask."

"Not at all. I shall send them a small gift, do you think they would enjoy that?"

Lucinda beamed.

"They'll be delighted."

Shortly thereafter, I bade Lucinda farewell, telling her to give her husband my regards when he woke up. I was relieved to hear that he was not suffering from anything life-threatening. However, there was something that bothered me:

According to Lucinda (and the Doctor), the reason for Felix' collapse had been a severe shock. What exactly could have been the reason for this shock? I had to find out.

I went to Lorenzo's quarters, where I found my fox busying himself with his throwing-knives.

"Do you know if Felix have been talking to someone today?" I asked.

Lorenzo went and retrieved his knives from the dartboard.

"Didn't he remain in the meeting room together with old Cornelius, before coming to the throne room?"

"Come to think of it, he did" I said. "Curious, those two are not exactly bosom friends."

"Shall I make some inquiries?" Lorenzo asked, astute as always.

"Yes, see if you can find out anything and report to me when you've learned something of interest."
Lorenzo bowed.

"As you command, my Queen."

With that, there was nothing more to say and so I left my fox to his devises.

It is now night outside and I am about to put the quill aside and go to bed, after another day of seeing to the Kingdom's affairs. Soon, one of my servant-girls will come, carrying with her the doctor's potion.

 I must commend my Royal Physician; his mixture has allowed me to sleep peacefully every night since I took it. If any specters appear, I pay them no heed. 

The potion is not without its side-effects, however. For one, I no longer dream at all: About an hour or so after I've taken it, I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. Sometimes I wonder if this is what death is like? If so, than death is nothing to fear, though I do prefer to live.

One might argue that I have no need of dreams, seeing as how I am in the process of turning all my dreams into reality and I will admit that that is a good point. That said, there is one type of dream I miss: The dream in which he, my brother, is still alive.

The other side-effect is of a more physical nature: I woke one morning and realized that I needed to replace most of my wardrobe. The Last time I had to do that, was when I had my growth-spurt, suddenly finding myself taller than my older half-brothers. This time though, the change to my figure was in its width rather than its length. Since I have always managed to keep myself slim, despite my healthy appetite, I can only conclude that the potion has had a negative effect on my metabolism. Not that my newly acquired corpulence bothers me. In fact, combined with my height and muscular arms, I think it makes me look rather imposing, if I do say so myself. Besides, as Queen I set the standard for beauty in my realm...

*****

Argath put the quill away and, closed the journal. She looked up and saw that she was no longer alone in the room.

"Put it over there" she said.

Having received her instructions, the servant-girl put the silver-tray with the small vial on it, down on the night-stand. She then turned to the Queen:

"Is there anything else Your Majesty require?" She asked.